Development Log

Written and conceived by Matt Lloyd 2018

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Observations and explanation desired - 19th of November, 2019

Observations and explanation desired

Good Morning Matt, here in this page I am going to list a handful of observations I have made over the past few years - especially more recently, and leave the question open as to how it can be explained. My desire is to hear some opinions from some people as to what they consider the explanation to be. However I will hold loosely to any possible answers given since I have discovered for myself that often the truths I wish to encounter do not come as readily as I would (maybe?) appreciate.


Zener Test

Our first set of observations are with the Zener card test in September 2019.

The Zener card test is a test performed with a set of cards, similar to playing cards, with different coloured shapes upon them.

The participant of the study is expected to guess the card that is 'hidden' from view or which is to 'come up next' before it is revealed to them.

The cards are randomly drawn, and in the case I ran the expected percentage of accurate guesses is 20%.

In the first two tests I ran for myself, totalling 58 card draws, I guessed correctly 27 times.

According to statistical analysis this is far greater than the expected value, and a significant result.

The expected quantity of correct guesses would have been around 12, not 27.


Basketball Analysis

All of my life I have been a poor basketballer, and especially poor at shooting free throws. Before, and during, being medicated with a mild sedative (risperdal) I always managed a lifetime best of 30%.

So, on any given day, without fail, if I were to attempt free throws from the free throw line, with no pressure on me, I would score 3 out of 10, 6 out of 20 and so on.

It is extremely consistent.

Now, I do not practice my basketball skills. And when I do - I do not improve my free throw scoring ability.

In 2015 I became mentally unwell for the first time, a peculiar psychosis-like state, but not quite. No hallucinations auditory or visual. However a very strong case of paranoia and fear.

At the same time - with no practice - my free throw ability rose from 3 out of 10 to 8 out of 10.

Upon resuming 'normality' it fell to 3 out of 10 once again.

In 2019, I have been attending the gym. For most of the year I have scored 3 out of 10 after running on the treadmill each time. However, in October and early November, after running on the treadmill I have scored 9 out of 10 in a single session, 16 out of 20 in a single session and other similar results at or above 6-8 out of 10 consistently. However more recently, after a time my score has settled back down to about 3 out of 10, once again.


Artwork (and others)- Predictive Ability ?

This is an example of something that occurs multiple times per day, multiple days per week and has done for a number of years now.

I use the example of artwork in a book I have purchased recently. I won't tell the full story, although - the full story has enough of such events to fill a bucket, yet we will detail just one.

I was on the bus to Knox, I had been thinking of creating an artwork, a piece of art with a knight on the left and a demon on the right - or some such figure. Doing battle. Engaging in combat.

It was a knight in shining armour, and a red skinned fiend of sorts, among a reddish background, fires, smoke and so on.

Upon getting to Knox I bought coffee and breakfast. I then went to a book store and found a book that I liked the look of. I bought it, caught the bus home and began reading.

On the third or fourth page of the artbook, at the very beginning was an image, identical to what I imagined on the bus, but with one difference - the position of the knight and demon were reversed. Otherwise it was identical - knight in shining armour, big reddish demon, fighting a battle in a reddish rocky environment.

I don't have a name for this feature of my life - although it has existed for many years, I have no control over it, and it appears to occur with thoughts that are...shall we say...unplanned, random meandering thoughts where I'm not actually thinking about predicting anything.

A second is like it

Several weeks ago - 5th of November - I was drawing a diagram in my notebook - I have many of these - and this diagram showed a group of individuals surrounding and attacking another individual. There were four figures attacking a single individual in the centre. Then...far off to the right of the diagram I had drawn a line of about 20 circles which I used to designate individuals as well, all arranged in a line. They were marked with a word above them in quotation marks which read "authorities".

The diagram was to describe a group of individuals attacking a lone figure and a host of authorities lined up in a perfect line just off to the side of the incident.

Now...that is interesting enough, except that - a few days later there was a shooting on the Eastlink, two cars were found, and as I walked home from the station on the Saturday it occurred (about 4 days later) there was a line of approximately 15-20 police public order response vehicles lined up in a row one after the other along Mountain Highway.

In the situation that had occurred - what we are told - is that a man was shot on the Eastlink and that multiple assailants were involved who shot at him and dumped their cars.


Explanation

Explanation for this is in one sense - "random coincidence of sorts" - however although I have listed a bare few outcomes, this has been going on for many years in my life now. Many years in my life now, and mostly since I first became mentally unwell in 2015 although recovered sufficiently to work a normal job etc.


What would your explanation be for this?

I don't have one of my own as yet - other than simply "weird"?


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